Atychiphobia (Fear of Failure)

  

 My mom wants me to be perfect all the time. If I fail there's always a consequence, and you don't want to imagine it. I've gotten straight A's all throughout high school and graduated with honors, I was the top of my class. I wasn't allowed to have friends because they were just a "distraction." I've always wanted to be an artist, when I told my mom that she kicked me out. She told me to be 'realistic' and to get a job. I've been on my own for a couple of months. I've worked multiple jobs just so I can pay my rent. Everything was going decent until she showed up again.

I was getting ready for an interview until it felt like I was paralyzed. What if I don't get the job? What will I do? Before I knew it I was picking up my phone and dialing the interview number
"Hello?"
"Hi! It's Kim, I was supposed to come in for the interview today?" I said.
"Oh! How can I help you?"
"I'm so sorry but I have to postpone the interview again," I said.
"No problem Kim."
"Thanks! I'll call you later to reschedule," I said.
"Great! Talk to you soon!"
After I hung up I sighed
"Why do I keep doing this to myself?" I said as I covered my face. Then there was a soft knock at the door. I wasn't expecting any company today, who could it possibly be? I opened the door and I really wish I didn't.
"Mom!?" I said, shocked, "How did you find me? I didn't tell you or dad where I moved!"
"I have my ways sweetheart," she said as she looked around my apartment.
"Don't call me that," I said, why was she here?
"Remember when you were first old enough to get a bank account? Of course I couldn't let you have your own so we had a joint account," she said, smirking.
"Yeah I remember, but why are you mentioning that right now?" I said clenching my fists.
"Oh, you haven't realized it yet?" she said as she turned to me. I shook my head no and she laughed, "Why honey, I emptied your account."
"What!? I worked my ass off for that money! It was enough to cover me for a couple months rent!" I yelled. Why would she do this!? "I'm you're daughter! Can't you just trust me with my career choice and love me unconditionally like you're supposed to do?"
"Well I won't let you blindly chase after a unrealistic dream, speaking of which....." she said as she pulled out a folder and handed it to me, "You will apply for all of these colleges, once you've sent me proof then I will give you your money back. You will have no problem getting into these schools with the grades you've gotten." she then walked out of my apartment and closed the door. How could she do this? I grabbed my laptop but when I opened it there was an interesting recommendation.
"There's an art contest?" my eyes widened, "The winner gets $100,000!?" I squealed with excitement. I can't believe this! If I win I could move again so she can't find me again. And this time I'll make my own bank account, so she can't take my money again.
"Hmm let's see...."  I said as I looked further into the contest, "I have to draw an OC, that shouldn't be to hard. Oh! I can see other contestants!" I clicked on the link, these people are freaking good! I don't stand a chance against these people! Can I really do this? What if I fail? What will my mom think? I took a deep breath. No, I can't let her have that satisfaction. I'll just perfect my art so it's unbeatable. But even thought I'm saying this I'm still afraid of not succeeding.

I immediately started working on my OC, I pulled many all-nighters just trying to get it perfect. The day of the turn-in date arrived and I looked at my artwork. My OC turned out to be a cat girl with white hair but faded to purple in the middle. She had a flower crown and she was wearing a light purple kimono. I was about to click submit but I felt paralyzed again. I'm still not sure if I should do this. If I fail then all this hard work would be for nothing. I felt myself close the tab for the website and opened a new one and searched the first college my mother wanted me to apply to.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Honestly my biggest fear would probably be rollercoasters. I don't like that the only thing that's holding me down is just that bar thing. But then again I watched Final Destination 3 so I'm probably just being paranoid.